i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
last night I used snow as a chaser
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