can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
