it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
