hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
