I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
