I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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