No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
sex in a hospital.. check
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
