Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Who died my cat blue again?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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