Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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