I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
