Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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