I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
