Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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