He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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