That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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