So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize