I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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