Non-Jews are for practice
you guys were way drunker than both of me
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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