he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize