i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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