It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
