My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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