you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
