I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
