So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
