i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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