see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
