walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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