Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
