She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
