Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
