No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
