I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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