alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
