I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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