i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
