Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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