Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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