Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
