Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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