We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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