I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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