I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
