its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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