Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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