belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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