On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
