You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
