worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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