i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
