her vagine was all disorganized.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
