Umm I'm too high to move.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
