Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
where does the pee come out of this thing
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
