Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize