im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
