Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
