the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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