somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
