The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My ass is underappreciated
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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